Studying is... Hard.

I haven't studied for such a long time and I have completely forgotten how hard it is. And maybe how to study at all.

My coursework for Human Biology fell through the door at the weekend. Sociology appeared the week before it and although challenging... I find it interesting so it helps more. Biology. Wow. Its, hard. And at times, dull as dish water! Amino acids, polypeptides... and I have only done one chapter.

I have this worried feeling. If I find the start of these Highers so difficult. What hope is there for me for doing the degree? What if I'm not cut out for studying and learning at an advanced level?

I know that I am probably just worrying because its all so new. And I should really get back to studying instead of farting about on the computer (if I spent as much time at studying instead of nursing my facebook addiction then maybe I wouldn't even be worrying at all?????).

Tonight I get to go back to my Monday night volunteering. Yaaaayyyy!

I love it and I'm looking forward to it soooo much.

My other volunteering is going to take a little longer. I go tomorrow for the first time however I need to send off an disclosure form. I'm off to London next week so need my passport so will not be able to send it off until after then. Will also need to find my birth certificate. And who knows where I will have put that - a safe place in my house is never, ever findable again!lol

Well. I'm going to make myself look at these books again.

Its all very scary.

Cars... I've found the true root of all evil!

My car has decided to cause me no end of problem's this month. It's like it actually senses when it would be a completely inconvenient time in my life to start acting like a complete... fill in your own words here... and start to misbehave.

I have spent... in total... over £800 fixing it over the last 3 weeks. Each part breaking down individually. And even more irritating, it's been breaking down as I leave the garage at points.

And the car isn't even that old! The mechanic, who I am now on first name basis with, incidently, is going to require a Christmas card to be sent having conversed with him on so many occaisons the last few weeks.

The thing is, I require my car even more so since I've decided what I want to be when I grow up!

So onto more about me: -

I am a dreamer, not a do-er, I didn't know what I wanted to when I was at school, left and worked in offices and have done so for the last 10 years. I moved out of my parent's home as soon as I could and met my "lobster" (he is my soulmate, my one true love and we shall call him... Paddy... for this purpose) at a very young age. We have grown up together and I have lived with him for the latter of my teenage years and all of my early twenties. A family member lives with us... Graham... he is a teenager who I sometimes like to make comparison's to the Harry Enfield character of Kevin...

I've always wanted more than I was doing in life. I want a career beyond an office. I wanted to do something worthwhile. I wanted to help people. I just didn't know what it was that I wanted to do.

A month or so ago... whilst sitting at home very depressed after suffering from a cold... I got back to my usual thoughts of "I want to do something with my life"... with the resounding thought back of "Well, what then?"... and then the typical... nothing answer.

I went onto the internet and just looked. Looked through lots of different University courses. Lots of different career options. Looking and looking and looking... until I happened across Occupational Therapy.

Well, I'm shortening the story for the purpose of here because there was a few and I narrowed it down into Occupational Therapy but never the less, I happened across it! :o)

So... I'm going to give up my full time job. Next year. I am going to go back to college and I'm going to do an HNC which will take me into 2nd year of the degree course.

I've got things to do this year before I can do that. I have to get 6 months experience (at least) in care. I have also registered to do 2 higher courses... Sociology and Human Biology...

I am already volunteering in care. I help out once a week in a group for people that have learning disabilities which I have missed because of my car :-( I love it there though.

I want to document my trials and struggles in my blog. Because my life is like a soap opera. And I am the drama queen that stars in it.

All I need is for my car to start playing the game... I need it now more than ever and all it's doing is putting a spanner in the works... Do you see what I done there? My jokes... are appalling.